The king was walking to his chambers one night when he came into contact with an evil nameless witch. Instead of calling for the guards to assist him he approached the witch. The witch could see the greed in the king's heart and used this greed for her own advantage. She knew exactly what the king desired and made a deal with the king. The deal that the witch proposed was eternal life. In return all she wanted to do was serve her king for eternity. Without hesitation the king quickly pounced on the opportunity to rule until the end of time. The witch told the king that the next time the land starts to shake that she would be able to use the mysterious power of the earth and transfer that power to give the king eternal life.
(King Joffrey in this story.
Source: Web)
At the climax of the ritual Roger heard his father screaming and then the screams faded away almost like he was falling out the window. Roger rushed in to find his father standing in stone and the witch laughing. Roger demanded to know what happened and could not get any answer. Overwhelmed with emotions, Roger drew his sword and charged towards the evil witch. In a panic the witch tried to cast the same spell upon Roger to turn him into stone too. She was hurried so much that she didn't exactly know what spell she cast upon him. Roger plunged his sword into the witch's stomach and quickly threw her of out the window with the sword still embedded into her body. As she was falling all you could hear was screaming. Right before the evil witch struck the ground she yelled, "ONLY RAMA CAN SAVE YOU NOW!" Roger had no clue what she was talking about and could only stand there speechless at what had just happened to his father.
A couple minutes passed. Roger finally gathered himself and used this time to say farewell to his father by stating, "Is this what you imagined what eternal life would be like? I don't know if you're still in there but I promise I will clean up the family name and in a hundred years people will forget the horrid things you did. People will remember that you were my father and I will do my best every day to let the people know you were hard on the kingdom because you didn't want to see it fall into ruin like our neighboring kingdoms. You understood that power trumps compassion as a ruler, yet I will show you what a compassionate king is capable of."
This is what Roger in this story looks like after the curse.)
Author's Notes: This story was derived from the story titled "Viradha." Basically the rakshasa named Viradha takes Sita and Rama ends up having
to kill him. Viradha has a curse on him where weapons can't kill him and Rama
was destined to free him from his curse. The story didn't really say how he got
the curse so I made up my own story as to how he obtained this strange curse.
In my story Roger is Viradha, and the witch is the person who gave him the
curse. King Joffrey is a Game of Thrones reference because that was the name of
an evil and corrupt king in that series. The main purpose of this story is to
inform the reader the way I like to believe this man got his curse. I used
Roger in this story because I am a fan of American Dad and it just seems right
to have an alien represent someone who is supposed to be a demon.Bibliography- Title:(Online Free) The Ramayana, Story titled "Viradha"
Author: Valmiki
I really enjoyed your spin on the story this week! I have never really watched American Dad but liked that you included a popular character from TV in your story. Your story was so detailed therefore it made it so much easier for me to follow along with and understand. I like how you changed the names from the classic story as well, I find that changing the names sometimes helps me relate or understand a story more easily. Your punctuation and capitalization also was really good at describing the mood of the characters in the story! I enjoyed reading your creative story this week and can't wait to hopefully read more creative spins from you throughout the semester.
ReplyDeleteI was very surprised when the witch turned against King Joffrey and turned him to stone! There was a very unpredictable aspect to the witch’s character and I really enjoyed that. I wasn’t sure what she was going to do to Roger. Since it was known that the people hated Joffrey I understood her attacking him but with Roger I wasn’t sure what she’d do with him! I wonder what Roger would have done with the witch if she hadn’t cast a spell on him. Would he be ok since he was now the king, what he had originally desired? I also wonder if the aspects of being a demon such as weapons having no effect on him will be something he grows to like and no longer want to seek out Rama. What if you broke you story down into smaller sections. I think it would help the reader to stay on track and follow the story. I really enjoyed reading your story!
ReplyDeleteWOw, I really liked your description and flow of the story. I liked the part where the king runs into the witch and the readers are easily able to see a shift in the story. You allowed the words you wrote to flow well together and to combine into a great story. What if you were to instead of an open ending to make it more distinct. Instead let the readers see if he meets with Rama, and does that help? If he does not help then does he die or does he get cured from the curse that has befallen him. I wonder how different it would be to your story if you allowed your readers some resolution from a well written story. Overall I think you did a really good job at creating a story even if you did not have all the details from the story you began with. You filled in the gaps of the story nicely and awesome job!
ReplyDeleteI love how this initially seemed like it was set up to be another one of those stories about a family scheming for the throne, but twisted into something else entirely. The transformation of Roger into a demon was awesome—I never saw it coming, and it took the story in a really interesting direction. I’m really curious about what internal transformation that would trigger too (which we kind of saw a hint of, when he lost it and massacred the guards) if the story were to continue. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteHi, Kalen! I really like your take on Viradha’s story, and I ESPECIALLY loved the fact that you incorporated American Dad and Game of Thrones into the story too! I love both shows, so I was super happy when I saw the names “Roger” and “King Joffery” (who by the way is a fictional character I despise the most…) Anyway, I was wondering why you decided to turn Joffery into stone? Why not kill him off or have him end a different, more dramatic way? The only suggestion is: What if you altered the story in that the witch had a vendetta with the family, which is why she wanted to get rid of (or punish) King Joffery and curse Roger? Either way, your story panned out really well, and I enjoyed reading it through. Your plot line throughout was well-written, and your descriptions of the events was well done and helped promote the mood of the story.
ReplyDeleteHi Kalen,
ReplyDeleteI love the premise you used for your story. The “WOW” moment for me was actually when you described the nature of the spell/curse; using an earthquake as the catalyst for something dramatic was a very strong choice, and I think it paid off. I also found the story to be appropriately dramatic, but laughed my head off at the end when you slipped in the picture of Roger from American Dad. Again, you are making some strong choices and you should keep doing just that! It makes your writing very intriguing.
I would encourage you to read a little into the proper use and placements of commas. Grammar is one of those things that we find so irritating to learn about in school, and because there are so many rules and so many conditions, it can often become tedious or confusing. In your case, I think your word choice is pretty great: you used a wonderful variety of language and seemed to make your choices fairly deliberately. The proper use of commas could definitely improve the flow of your writing, and even help to assist those strong choices to give them more impact. Keep up the good work, and let me know if you need any help!
Hi Kalen,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story. I did like how you added the aspect of nature in your story. I believe in the Epics of India the characters rely on nature and the goods quite frequently. I did like that you made this story your own by changing the character’s name’s. I also liked that this focused-on filling in the gap about how the curse first cam into place. I loved your language usage in the story, it painted a very vivid picture. My only suggestion would be to pay attention to commas. I also have a problem of adding commas everywhere because I feel it is necessary. However, reading some examples of comma slices would improve your story. I would like to say that the pictures that you added for your story were great. It helped me picture the scenes even more. I laughed out loud when I saw the picture of Roger and just the way you wrote the caption. It was nicely done. Overall, really great story and I look forward to reading more!
Hi Kalen,
ReplyDeleteEven though I have never seen American Dad, I enjoyed reading your story. You have a unique writing style, but I think that if you introduce some form of dialogue, then it will make the story flow a bit better and make it easier for the reader to follow. Also, if you use shorter paragraphs, it might be easier to read. I wonder what would have happened or how the story would have ended if Roger was not immune to weapons? Well done and keep up the good writing.
Hi Kalen!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story. I read when you took notes on it I think, a few weeks back. It turned out great! I really felt the ‘wow’ factor when the witch turned Roger’s father into stone and then Roger comes in and stabs her and she falls out the window. Super intense and suspenseful! I wonder what it would have been like if that scene took a turn differently… What if the witch wasn’t thrown out the window? What conversation would have taken place? Even if the ending was the complete same, maybe it would be interesting to add some more dialogue between the witch and Roger before? Just some ideas, your writing is awesome! The description and images you use really help the story come to life, and even though the events in the story are not realistic, you make the story seem real! I look forward to reading more!
Wow, this story was great. I like how you got really creative with the beginning and set up the stage for how Roger got his powers. You did a great job at building the suspense of the story. I love that you incorporated both Game of Thrones and American Dad into your story. Honestly, you did an awesome job, I loved the story!
ReplyDeleteHi there. My name is Mia. I'm from the Mythology and Folklore class. This is my first post for your Indian Epics class so bare with me on the commenting, as these stories are a tad bit different.
ReplyDeleteDiving right in, I think you did a nice job with this story. I might suggest that you include more dialogue. Including more dialogue helps the reader understand what's going on through the characters' points of view as well as helps the story develop! That being said, you did a great job writing the story, but, as a reader, I would have enjoyed more dialogue to help fully develop your story! Lastly, I really liked your story and the creative approach you took with it! Roger was my favorite character, but I was sad to see that he saw the end of when the witch turned his dad into stone! Sad! nice job!
Wow, I really enjoyed reading your story! I think you did a great job in building suspense, but not taking away from the original story. I think my favorite part was how you added in actual tv shows! This made your story really stand out to me. Great work! I did wonder why there wasn’t much dialogue. I think dialogue would make your story even more powerful. You could add it in after each paragraph for flow. Other than that, this was such a good story! You did a great job writing it, and I want to read more of your portfolio after this! The image of the alien was also a great addition! Haha. I want to read the original story after reading yours. I’ll have to look into that. I think you’re a great writer. I look forward to seeing what else you come up with, and what other tv shows you might add!
ReplyDelete